Hang on for a Wild Ride

At seventh grade orientation, the Headmaster cautioned us that this year would be like a roller-coaster. The kids would up; the kids would be down. He encouraged us (begged us) not to ride the roller-coaster with them. We need to stay even-keeled. I sat rather smugly in my seat. Colin, my 12-year-old, was my even-keeled kid. (Mason, the 8-year-old, has been a roller-coaster since birth...plenty of other blogs on that...) But seventh grade would be a breeze for this family.

Famous last thoughts.

Not a week later, this boy had turned into a tween. Sassmonter. So rude. The roller-coaster was dipping down, and then just as quickly it's back up again. He got new band members and they were "awesome...best ever....so cool." He loves math (what??)

The class went away for five days to Monterey on an extended field trip. One of Colin's best friends, Calvin, asked one of the new girls, Stella, to be his girlfriend. She said yes. This was huge news when the kids came back. New territory for many of the parents. Colin told me all about it. It was hard to follow the details. Apparently Calvin knew Stella would say yes because so-and-so asked Calvin if he liked Stella, and....oh, there were so many details of who said what, that it confused -- and scared -- me. Another couple was in the making: Tyler was going to ask Simpson out, but she had gotten food poisoning in Monterey and had to go home early. I wanted to know how Colin felt about it. Up to now, Colin had declared that girls were "weird."  Did this new coupling-up change Colin's view of girls? Did he see them through Calvin's eyes and Tyler's eyes? His answer was "no girls like me." Hmmm, that seems like a strange criteria for picking a girlfriend -- wait for someone to like you, then you like her. Where is your compass? Oh, wait, you're twelve, you've never done this before!

So Tyler is going to ask Simpson out. Tyler's best friend is a girl, Tina. They've been friends since about 3rd grade. I've always admired their friendship. It's just looks so solid (even outlasting many boy-boy and girl-girl friendships). Most of their girls in the class have had a crush on Tyler and at birthday parties, when they don't have to wear a uniform or dress code, they show up in makeup and do their very best Taylor Swift impersonations. I don't know what Tyler thinks of it, but Tina is still his best friend. Simpson is new at school, and I have not met her yet. I don't know know where she falls on the Taylor Swift / Tina-the-athlete spectrum, but I told Colin that I think that Tyler and Tina's friendship looks like a model for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because they are such good friends. They talk, they laugh, they have fun together. I asked him what he though a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship looked like. He said "Calvin and Stella." I asked him why. He said, (as a 12-year-old does) "they just do." I pointed out that they'd been together for three days. Didn't matter.

Don't ride the roller-coaster, Mom.

There's so much to navigate here:

• self-esteem (no girls like me)
• what to look for in a mate
• peer pressure (2 boys have girlfriends...um, 13 boys do not!!)

 Colin and I had gotten into an argument in the morning, after his return from Monterey, Later that evening there was another roller coaster: Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 He'd watched most of the movie earlier in the day without me, but had 20 minutes left. As we sat in the living room, we watched the final excitement play out. We rode the ups and downs together. The earlier argument of the day faded away. Will the rescue plan succeed? How's Haymitch without his booze? Look at Effie Trinket without makeup! Oh no! President Snow! Tension mounts; tension recedes. Roller-coaster up; roller-coaster down. Nervous glances across the room -- only this time, we're not wondering where this conversation is going. We're wondering where Katniss is going. Some roller-coasters are OK to ride together.